The Singular Mind

"The Vanishing Date"

The Morning News, an online magazine I keep up with, had a feature for Halloween I found entertaining. They wrote the beginning of a "classic" Halloween spooky story, and had all of their writers write endings to it. This is the beginning, then my favorite ending, which was by Matthew Baldwin, the author of Defective Yeti, a blog I read (wow, that's a lot of commas).

The Beginning

As Henry pulled into the restaurant parking lot, he scanned the people lingering around the entrance and quickly identified his date by the ruby brooch on the shoulder of her wool coat.

“You’re early!” he said as he approached. “Susannah?”

“Henry!” she grinned. “Yes, I thought it would be easier if I let you figure out who I was; I hate introducing myself to strangers.”

“Well, if you had let me pick you up at your house,” he said, fake-accusingly.

“Let’s eat,” she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the door. “I’m starved.”

After dinner and a bottle of red wine, Henry was a little woozy as they walked back to the car. He was still drivable, though, and soon they were cruising down side roads, at Susannah’s direction, toward her house.

“There it is!” she said, pointing to an older house. The porch light was still on, even though it was nearly midnight. “Mom and Dad left the light on for me!” Henry slowed down to pull into the driveway, but her cold, small hand on his arm stopped him. “No, keep driving. I’m having too nice an evening.”

“All right,” Henry nodded dutifully. Eventually, they pulled into a local park. Henry turned off the car and turned to Susannah. He put his arm around her shoulders and was trying to pull her toward him when she jumped.

“Oh!” she said, putting her hand to her mouth in surprise. “I have to go!” Without another word, she broke from Henry’s grasp, opened the car door, and ran off into the dark.

Henry tried to follow her, but the alcohol was really beginning to work; he called her name for several minutes, to no avail. In the end, all he could do was get back in his car and drive home.

The next day, when he got into his car, he saw Susannah’s ruby brooch on the passenger’s seat. He backtracked through his memory of the evening and was able to find her parents’ house with surprising ease. He parked the car, grabbed the brooch, walked up the path, and rang the doorbell…

Matthew Baldwin's Ending

The woman who opened the door greeted him enthusiastically. “Welcome!” she cried. “Please, come inside.”

Henry stepped into the foyer of the mansion. “I, um—I’m looking for a girl,” he stammered.

“We know who you are,” cooed the woman. “And you’ve come to the right place.”

The woman stepped aside and gestured toward two beautiful ladies standing at the back of the room. Both were clad in magnificent gowns, and they eyed Henry with undisguised hunger.

An older man stood by their side, and he stepped forward to greet his guest. “You grace us with your presence, my lord,” he said with a bow. “These are my stepdaughters, and they have been eagerly awaiting your visit.”

“Oh. OK,” said Henry, confused. “Well, I have this brooch—”

“A brooch?” muttered the stepdaughter on the left. “But I thought—”

She and her sister exchanged crestfallen glances and then looked downward. For the first time Henry noticed that their shoes were soaked with blood.

A moment passed. “Never mind,” said the sister on the right. She hobbled forward, wincing with each step, then stopped before Henry and composed herself.

“It was I you danced with last night at the ball,” she said. “You have only to pin the brooch to my gown to know this as the truth.”

“The ball?” said Henry, his face the very picture of perplexity. He looked from one sister to the other, recognizing neither. “No, last night I—”

Then, abruptly, Henry’s befuddlement melted into chagrin. “Ohhhhh, no,” he moaned. He turned to father and asked, “What kind of story is this?”

“Oh, you know,” said the elder. “Fable. Thinly disguised morality tale, that sort of thing.” He jerked his head toward a doorway, through which Henry could see the kitchen. “I could bring out my real daughter, the cinder maid, if you want to cut to the chase.”

“No, no,” said Henry in embarrassment. “I—I think I’m at the wrong house. This was supposed to be, like, a spooky ghost story.”

Henry’s mortification deepened as the father burst out in laughter. “I’m so sorry to have bothered you,” Henry said sheepishly.

“No worries,” said the father, waving away the apology. “Happens all the time, to tell the truth. That’s the problem with these stories, you know: They never actually describe the house. It’s always just ‘her home’ or ‘an older house,’ so they all wind up looking the same.”

Henry visibly relaxed as the father continued. “We get folks from other genres here all the time. A coupla months ago we had a guy from a crime noir story. He kicked in the door, pulled a .38 special, and demanded to know where he could find ‘The Mook.’ We had a good laugh over that one, once we got it all sorted out.”

There was an awkward pause after the father finished chuckling. Eventually Henry broke the silence. “Look, I’ve kept you long enough,” he said. “I’ll get going and leave you alone.”

“Hang on,” said the father, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You said you were looking for a scary story? Well, look: This is one of those original fairy tales, not that Disneyfied crap. So if you want to hang out for a few more minutes, you might get a suitable ending after all.”

Henry looked dubious. “Probably not the ending you were expecting,” conceded the father. “But horror stories that end unexpectedly are always the best kind anyway.”

Having imposed on the family thus far, Henry figured it would be impolite to decline the father’s offer. So Henry agreed to stay. The cinder maid brought mugs of ale, and they sat at the table, swapping tales. The father groused about the three pigs that lived next door; Henry told of the time he had returned home from a date to find a hook on the handle of his car door.

Then, suddenly, the front window exploded inward, and a flock of pigeons burst into the room. The bird swarmed the two stepdaughters and pecked out their eyes!!

Thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with blindness as long as they lived.

“Awesome,” Henry said to their father. “Thanks!”


Read the other endings in the full article.

Labels: Things of Interest

posted by Jeremy @ 3:41 PM